Comparison photos today. This is difficult for me to do, but the benefits are twofold: first, to visually prove to myself that the weight loss is real. It is working. Second, to remind myself that I have a ways to go, so that I will remain committed.
Chapter 12: tools of the trade.
I weigh myself every day. What I'm trying to do is view the number that appears as a tool, as information. Really. It sounds simple, but it's an enormous task to remove all of the useless emotional crap that's tied to the number... if I do everything right and the number doesn't change (or God forbid, goes up), I tend to use it as a signal of defeat.
You see, Watson? The number remains unchanged. Ergo, you will not lose any more weight, no matter what you eat... now go fetch us a trunk full of bacon cheeseburgers. I mean it, Watson. Get your ass in gear.
Or, if that doesn't work, I try to trick myself when the number goes down... to use my success as a reason to sneak in some fast food.
Congratulations, Watson! Another pound and one-half lost! Observe, Watson... you are losing weight even though you sometimes eat like a starving grizzly bear. Ergo, it will not matter in the grand scheme of things if you pop out with the wheelbarrow and secure us a snack of fried chicken and biscuits. Do it, Watson, do it now... before I am forced to pimp-hand you into the middle of next week.
Hmmm... re-reading the last bits... does anyone else think it's odd that my internal dialogue manifests on the page as Holmes trying to convince Watson to go get a bunch of fast food? Oh, well. If you don't know by now that I'm often as weird as a bag of hair, there's nothing I can do. Get on the crazytrain or get offa the tracks.
What the hell was I writing about? Stop trying to distract me, people. I'm making a point here. Wait, no I'm not. Not really. I'm just tossing out some observations. I guess what I wanted you to know today is that I'm becoming more aware of the tricks that I use to get myself to fail. And the more aware I am, the more often I can avoid the bear trap that I've set for myself. It is the thirteenth of February today, and I began writing on the first. In that time, I've had one non-productive eating day. That's the best ratio to date; hopefully I won't use that as an excuse to nom down a bunch of stuff that I don't want. Thank you for reading, commenting, and being out there.
Holmes, you shut up and leave poor Watson alone. He and I have a new goal to reach.
Steve "Big Daddy" Hodgson
February the thirteenth, 2010
291.8 pounds
I get the internal dialogue I have no one as cool as Watson however. Just me myself and each time I think of food, ponder porportions the discussion starts and the meal is not lonely until I actually sit down and begin to scarf. Thank you for sharing your stuff...all that you share...the good, the bad, the over chewed. It is such a road of many highs and lows and I am loving the fact that the path you are on right now is working and I love seeing the number drop. I know it is not just everyday you deal with the 'stuff' but everytime you think of eating, exercising or some great adventure...keep up the super great work and I hope your money jar is getting chockablock full of cash. Happy Valentines day early. I know it is a silly holiday but it still shows up once a year so might as well at least give up a happy holiday...it already sucks as it is...at least I am not in the college apaprtment watcind disney's valentine nonsense. Think I will go to Jupiter Beach and Delray Garlic Fest. One good thing I have done this valentines season is not had one peanut butter heart...my weakness. You are an inspiration. love ya!
ReplyDeleteTwo thoughts: If you haven't seen the new Sherlock Holmes movie you Should, because then your internal dialogue would be even more awesome, because it would be Jude Law and RD Jr :D.
ReplyDelete#2: Two years ago I worked for a lady who had these fitness machines, and she made sure to tell women that Measuring themselves was more important than Weighing, because as you tone up, remember that muscle is heavier than fat. So weight isn't necessarily the best indicator of weight loss... oddly..enough. I'm just full of it. (Trivia, that is). So keep that in mind too, although I'm sure you know.