Patience, Grasshopper

There were luminous little blue faerie-flowers all over the side of the trail up to Pine Creek falls.

The best thing about exercising is hiking, and seeing stuff like this.

Staying off of the scale for a week at a time is teaching me patience, or that I'm a neurotic nutbag, or both.

I wrote that I wanted to focus on what kind of day I was having instead of the weight loss it generated, and that is still true... but it's more difficult than I thought. Keeping away from the scale really gets my internal dialogue going, really allows me to get into the weird and splash around. Is it working? I feel heavier after that apple. My pants feel loose, maybe it's working... is that possible, or did they expand? Maybe it's due to humidity, or lack of humidity, or these aren't the pants I thought they were, or maybe they were already loose when I bought them and I just didn't notice, or maybe I was standing differently last time I wore them. Is my face fatter now than it was ten minutes ago? I shouldn't have eaten that grape.

Oh, boy.

The good thing is, when all my weird comes out, I get to lay it on the table and have a look at it. I get to decide what is useful and what I want to pitch in the trash bag. It will take a lot of work to get rid of the stuff I don't want, but at least I know what it is.

As far as my month so far goes... out of fourteen days, I have had two Partly Cloudy and twelve Blue Sky days. That means that I have exercised every single day, sometimes extensively, and only eaten more than I thought I should have on two days. And no destructo-food, no Taco John's or MacDonald's or microwaved chimichangas from the gas station. The two days that I knew I had to count as Partly Cloudy, the food that I ate too much of was healthy, home-made stuff... so things have been pretty darn good.

Did it work? I have no idea. It is weigh-in day today, and I haven't done it yet. I'll do it right before I post this thing. I'm a little nervous... what if I have to post a zero loss? Or (gasp) a gain? Well... what if? Will the roof collapse? Will my friends shun me? Will I somehow be diminished as a human being?

It is useful for me to ask myself these questions, because the answer is "no." None of those things will happen. I still will have done well what I set out to do, and can be glad of it. And summer is really, really close... I'm ready for hiking and camping and seeing friends that live far away, and more hiking. And Blue Sky.

Come visit me, please. We'll go for a walk and look at flowers.

Steve "Big Daddy" Hodgson

June the fifteenth, 2010

261.4 pounds